Healthy Relationship Secrets For Parents

16: Interview with Jordan Pendleton, on Money and Mindset

September 05, 2022 Jason A Polk
Healthy Relationship Secrets For Parents
16: Interview with Jordan Pendleton, on Money and Mindset
Show Notes Transcript

Jordan Pendleton is a Money + Mindset Mentor for Entrepreneurs. She is also a parent. 

She shares her personal journey with money and how she applies that experience to her work with her clients. 

She also addresses the belief, "If I just have more money, everything will be good..." 

Get in touch: 

Instagram Handle: @jordantalksmoney 

Get Jorndan’s FREE 21 Money + Mindset Journal Prompts: here

Check out Jordan’s podcast: Real Money Talk

Unknown Speaker  0:00  
Yeah, we've just gotten into, like, if you have enough money, you know, passive income to pay all your bills, then you're financially free. And that is a wheel that people will spend their whole life just trying to get there and never actually feel at peace with who they are, where they're at, how much they do have, what they do have who they are. We're hoping a lot of times that money will make us Okay.

Jason Polk  0:26  
Welcome to The Healthy Relationship secrets, prepares podcasts, saving your relationship from parents. So the question is, how can we be great parents and have an amazing relationship at the same time? That's the question, and this podcast will provide the answer.

Unknown Speaker  0:46  
All right. Well, welcome everyone. I am so excited because I'm going to talk with Jordan. Money and mindset coach. Yeah. Cool. All right. Well, welcome everyone. I'm so excited. We got Jordan Pelton here. She's a money and mindset coach, and selfishly Jordan, I'm excited about this. I was telling you before, my wife and I number one issue is money. Couples researcher John Gottman says that couples will have the same fight, as long as they're together, and ours happens to be money. So maybe you can help us out. And maybe you can say how I'm right. And she's wrong. Exactly. Yeah, I'll

Unknown Speaker  1:24  
definitely give you some serious validation. Today, Jason? Yeah.

Unknown Speaker  1:30  
I need it my my fragile ego. Anyway, but how about Jordan, if you can tell us about what you do?

Unknown Speaker  1:41  
Yeah. Well, I want to tell you, first and foremost, you are absolutely not alone. That is one of the top things. And the second, or the second most common reason why people get divorced, is this conversation around money, infidelity and other issues being the first but a lot of times it's because of this route, around money that can create a lot of separation. And so that where a lot of people are was with this conversation, not for I was a couple of years ago, I so I started out as a financial advisor, I grew a very successful business very quickly in my early 20s. And started to see, I had really never had money or interacted with a ton of money previous to that, but started to see some serious patterns. And things happening. And I was Yeah, spending all my money going into debt. And I was a financial advisor. So it felt a little bit like counter counterintuitive, but it really started my journey into okay, there's something else going on here because it's not clearly a you know, I've done all the courses, I know how to lead other people and the tactics and the strategy with their money. But what am I missing because I keep playing out these same cycles. And then I was also in relationship with my now husband and things were starting to come up around that. So it really started my journey on asking different questions and getting wanting to get to the root of like, what's actually going on, because I can't stick to a budget, I can't, like all these tactical things don't work. So that's what created this now, and this money and mindset, coaching that I do, because for most people, we're playing out these patterns that we saw, growing up, culturally, there's a lot of impacts, and so much 95% of what we do is subconsciously driven. So we're just playing out these, these patterns, these loops, and never actually gaining any traction or getting any meaningful momentum usually because we are so focused on what we think is gonna give us the results of, you know, reaching for a tactical tool or strategy, which don't get me wrong, it's very helpful. But if you have if your subconscious is misaligned with that tool, it's not going to stick. So that that's really my own pain and frustrations and a lot of just like bad stories internally around money. And I love this conversation to have like how that impacts our relationships because you can't keep them separate, especially if you're married or in an intimate relationship like it's gonna come in and it is, if you look at it through this lens that is the best kind of modality to work out or money stuff, as well like in partnerships together. It can be like this great, safe If we allow it to and don't let the fights get the best of us, because that's just the play out of the pattern happening again. So

Unknown Speaker  5:08  
yeah, so cool this slide there, but you mentioned fights with your boyfriend now husband, and what you were saying it seems like that was kind of, in a way, the wake up call for you. Or maybe another way of looking at is, I have to finish this. I can't kind of wiggle around this issue. I don't know if I got that right.

Unknown Speaker  5:29  
Oh, yeah, there. I mean, there's so much we can if we're single, and just, you know, doing life independently, you can hide a lot of this stuff from yourself and tell yourself it's okay. But the second you get into a relationship. I mean, gosh, some of my hardest, most confronting conversations and realizations have come via marriage, about this money stuff, and awful and awesome all at the same time.

Unknown Speaker  5:58  
Yeah, so I like you said awful and awesome. I agree. 100%. Once you're you have another person. It's kind of like, hey, we need to be a team, we need to be on the same page. And this comes out, you know, I can't be operating. So in regards to yours, too. I've noticed that. Say there's even a new kid on the way. And this is kind of cultural, stereotypical, but sometimes the male response is, oh, my gosh, I gotta make more money. Right? It's kind of go in that provider mode. And I don't know if you see that, or maybe kind of like, I'm all over the place here. But maybe a better question would be you talked about your subconscious and aligning with tools. I don't know if you can speak on either, though.

Unknown Speaker  6:55  
Yes. Well, I like the the first place you were going with that, too. And I think it speaks to this because, yeah, our subconscious is replaying all these programs, and especially what we saw growing up like sub 10 years old, you know, this, you know, being in the counseling psychology world, like are so many of our brains, neural pathways are set before we're even like 10 to 12 years old. And so we're, however, we saw that live down and lived out played out primarily with our parental figures. And then yeah, culturally speaking, there's a lot of like, presets, and we have to look at what's that preset? What was just given to me? And then what do I want to choose? Because you know, that that pattern, and I think that's a very like, male masculine thing to say, you know, wanting to be the provider. And that is not wrong. Like, that's not wrong at all. And but I think when it comes from any place of, I have to, or should, or just from that place of that you're not choosing that pattern, then it could be really destructive, because it can bring in a lot of feelings of like, well, I just need to, it's my role to take care of everything in the household, it can be very, like separating, for the male to take on that whole burden by themselves, as opposed to see what's the team? Are we a team in this, because it's no one on one person, typically, to be the sole source and providing comes in many different forms. Money being just one of them. Providing has many other different facets. So we have to look at the bigger picture here and see what what do I want to choose? Moving forward, we get some awareness around what's the pattern, what was I shown what was a demonstrated, you can let go of like, a lot of the stuff that we were passed down, because a lot of times that's it doesn't work for us. It doesn't, it's not where we actually want to go, it doesn't align with what we really want to create our lives to be. Some of it's really good. But think there's so much power in choosing that and choosing what it is you actually want. And not just letting the subconscious programming take over and make it your choices for you. And if you're not aware of it. That's what's happening, like your sub conscious is choosing for you. If you're resentful about that or feel frustrated, then maybe time to look at what you're you know, what's the operating system?

Unknown Speaker  9:44  
Yeah, that's great. Well, maybe plying what you're saying the subconscious pattern, and kind of going on autopilot, so to speak. I grew up in a family where we had pretty much any material thing that we wanted Right. And yeah, some of it, we were told no that much. All right there. So for me, I'm kind of like thin stain, who cares. I also was like, as I got older, you know, I don't really associate kind of changed on this, but I often associate money with happiness by kind of getting grew up as you listen to like punk rock, screw the system. Again, then Buddhism and meditation, all that stuff, but didn't have a kid. And things change. You know, you might eat differently. But nevertheless, I'm still have that kind of like, abundance, or maybe kind of reckless, my wife would say, and my wife has more of this scarcity. And she shared she grew up and kind of was worried about money, that scares and so some of our views our budget for her, and me and like a budget, a cool idea, sort of do it. But if that kind of talking like a little bit of what you're talking about the subconscious about how we were raised with money, that I get that right,

Unknown Speaker  11:12  
yes, and I'm the same way like that is a similar dynamic to my husband and I, like I'm the spender, I don't like to look at the money. I'm just much more like avoidant of it and very, like, sometimes, like falsely optimistic and overly positive about things. And my husband is much more of a realist. And that's that that happens in most couples that there's, like, we need that contrast, because like, and I used to think that I just wanted somebody just like me, but we would be in so much debt, and we would have, so bigger problems. And so sometimes that, like, we have to have a contrast, we have to have the contrast, a lot of times our brain just wants to be right, like you said earlier, like the we want to be right or ego wants to be right. So that's where we get into the fights, though, that's where it creates no space for us to actually connect and have real conversations because you're both trying to protect what you believe is right. And that's where most couples get in trouble. We can't see that contrast, as a gift, we see it as a curse. And oh, if they just if Jason would just budget, you know, my wife would just get on the page and, and dream with me that that contrast. A lot of times it you need each other. And I think that's the beautiful thing about relationships is like your wife, my husband like, and usually it reflects like a parental figure, too. If you had that, you know, different dynamics in your parents, relationships, you kind of like, attract the opposite and a lot of ways, but if you can see that as a gift, instead of a curse and say, You know what, like? Yeah, cuz mine is blind optimism a lot of times because I don't want to look at it. And it's reckless, in a lot of ways because I don't there's something I don't want to take responsibility for. There's something I feel entitled to end. Like, that's the hard thing that I don't want to look at. That's within myself. So yes, money is the topic a lot of times. But there's something through that relationship, we're usually being called into, to help. And to balance us out a bit and see it as, like, now I'm like, Oh, my gosh, I'm so thankful for my husband, like he really helps me like, access so much more of myself. But when I'm in that defensive way, I'm like, you are limiting me and you are limiting my dreams. And what he sees the same way, because he's like, Well, you're spending us in into the poor house. So you're, you're costing me my dreams, too, as opposed to how do we come together. And we have to recognize the other person's programming as well and then be willing to look out where they're coming from, because we're just usually like, fighting to feel safe. Like to me dreaming feels safer. Realism feels really unsafe to me, and he's the opposite. So yeah, we have to look at that. And it's the hard look at the beer. It's not even just about the numbers. It's hard. It's what we have wrapped around the numbers. It's hard.

Unknown Speaker  14:38  
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's

Unknown Speaker  14:43  
like a lot of different tangents,

Unknown Speaker  14:45  
no. And so in trying to kind of go back to what you were saying. So your work looking at The subconscious, you know, kind of like underpinnings associated with money was that you said something else, but I'm trying to give it a stamp here. Was it that the real been in reality that is unseen? Or if you can even share, you know, some of the work, if you don't mind, you know, some of the work you've done? And it seems like some of it's just kind of being honest with yourself.

Unknown Speaker  15:28  
Yeah. And it's evolved over time as to like, how money's actually looked at my life and what the circumstance has been as changed. We went from making a lot of money, spending it all to then you know, starting my own business, and then not making very much money and going into further debt. And that's where they really got serious. And that was right before, because I wasn't wanting to look at it, I was just kind of like, okay, well, I just need to make more money, and then it'll go away, kind of thing. But when my husband and I were going to get married, I hadn't told him, I hadn't told them about the $40,000 of debt that I had accrued. And that's a pretty big deal, like going into a marriage. And, and I think, to your point, like, I was hiding it from myself, so I didn't feel like I was hiding it from him. Or that I wasn't intentionally lying, or hiding anything, but it was because I was not wanting to look at it myself. And to really face the terrible things that I was making that mean about me that I was a failure, I'm a loser, I have no worth like, I am, like, nobody's buying my stuff. Therefore, I'm like a loser there. And I was also most of that debt came from investing in personal development and going to conferences, hiring coaches, all this stuff that I was even deferring to everybody else's. You know, that whole like sum of debt was a total manifestation of wanting other people to tell me what to do with my life and hoping, thinking that everybody else had the answers for me besides myself. So a lot of it's just been through. I mean, thank God for all those courses, because it did learn a lot about myself and like how I operate. So then, but then when you're actually faced with the real life, circumstance, and conversation of how to move through that, and thankfully, my husband does a phenomenal person. And he's very grounded, and helped me to see that he's not marrying me for money, because of the worth, the dollar amount that I bring or take from our marriage and started to really help me get real with what money actually is. Because for most of my life, now, because of this work, seeing that money has just been, I've allowed it to be the scorecard of how worthy or not I am in this world, and how much worth I have and what I have it, I'm great and super amazing. And I'm what I don't, I'm a POS that needs to, you know, just work harder and be better and total, total loser mentality. So allowing money to do that. And I see a lot of entrepreneurs doing that, and kind of like working that out through their business. And so those work is like allowing our money to detach ourselves from our money so that we can actually see what are we making it mean about us? What are we making a mean about other people? What are these judgments that we have? What is what is the story we're wrapping around money, because that's usually what prohibits us from having it, making it keeping it, whatever your goal is, like, there's something you got wrapped around money, that's prohibiting it from coming in your life and just being the tool. Be let it be the car instead of the gas in the car, a lot of times

Unknown Speaker  19:21  
during your season some some some pretty cool stuff. I mean, especially being a coach counselors perspective, when we talk about data to give vulnerability, sharing what's really real, right? But when you do that, I mean, you can connect with people. Gosh, when you were sharing that, I was like, yep, apartment is like if my wife was here, she'd be like, yep, Jason coaching all the coaching us you spend money on right? Now looking at the numbers, and gosh, there's so many similarities. And there you mentioned associated with worth, if I don't have it, then something's wrong with me. By the way. See, Graham, I think you said that you're not enough. That's a core sort of belief that a lot of us have, maybe all of us have. And then that can trigger it. That's one of my reasons to, I don't want to look at my credit card bill. Right? Because it has to be like faced with reality. Oh, am I right? No, that didn't translate to work. Practice. And this is my wife and I as agreement on money, which I do recommend couples, if money's an issue coming up with agreements. And one of our agreements was every month ago to talk about where we're at. So I have that face to music, right. But it's good, because ultimately, what you're talking about with the team, we can that as being a team, we can use this crappy issue to actually make us feel closer together. So yeah, that's a sign that my dad?

Unknown Speaker  20:54  
Oh, yeah, definitely. Like, it's, it's hard. It's hard to like set those, they fill the calendar, like, okay, we're doing the money thing. And I think within relationships, too, we have to see that, like, we, and come to the space where you know what, neither of us are perfect on any given subject. Like I will, even though been a financial advisor, a money coach, and all this stuff, and like, my husband just naturally gets finances, so much better than I do. Like, this has been something I've had to work with, and practice and understand. And he just, he's just gets it better. And like, I can learn from that I can learn from him, I get things in different realms of life much more easily, easily and naturally than he does. And you can see that like, what any person is, like, fully well rounded and perfectly equipped, like perfectly awesome. So I think we have to, you know, humble ourselves and say, neither of us are perfect, and we're both gonna have to work, work things through on any given subject, whether it's money, or health, or kids or whatever it might be, we're gonna have to, like, humble ourselves a bit and see that we don't know it all. And that we're learning together. And I think through humility, we actually get to see that what the other person does bring, as opposed to just defending all the feelings, we're always in constant defense. Because that can happen in marriages. And, you know, yeah, like level, level the playing field and see that none of those areas define our worth. To like,

Unknown Speaker  22:47  
yeah, for sure. Well, you mentioned, because I, on your one of the Instagram posts, you talk about a lot of times people think he answers more, more and more and more and more, and where I'm at, where money would really be nice if you could go on vacations and stuff like that. Can you speak? Can you speak on on that?

Unknown Speaker  23:10  
Yes, it's the thought that more money will solve my problems that that, you know, we're gonna label a problem, like, that's the problem, because it's not that you're not going on vacation that's creating problems in your life. It's not that you're not, you know, I think it's when we can be grounded in the enoughness that we have today, then we actually invite more into our life. I think the pattern that especially as Americans we get into, especially if we believe that more is better than we can get into the cycle of chasing money. Which actually money is repelled from that energy. Money like think about if you were going to try to catch a butterfly, like I use this analogy all the time. If you're going to try to catch a butterfly, if you chase a butterfly down and try to catch it, it dies right like you and it flies away from you and that's what we are doing. We are like I need more I need more we're chasing it down and we're they're killing it. So that's an instance of like you get it but you spend it because oh wait money is not the answer. So we kill it. Or and sometimes like that's me I spend it or you know, we have that energy of like, there's not enough and I need more killing it can also look like hoarding it and trying to just like do everything to protect what you've gotten. So it's too frivolous or too tight, not the killing that you know came from the chasing. But if we allow ourselves to be like butterflies will come land on you. And then you're much more at peace and you can hold an open hand, it's going to come and go. Like, that's what money, money is gonna come and go out of our life. We've just gotten so obsessed, like culturally of like growing your your net worth, and protect it. And that energy will actually like squash, you, and your spirit, your ability to live life without fear and panic. Oh, kill that. So, yeah, it's not about having money is not bad. But it's the need for it, that pushes it away. And like kills you in the process.

Unknown Speaker  25:56  
I love how you said that. What I was was making up when you were saying that? You know, again, the problem is not the money. The problem is not vacations. The problem is when

Unknown Speaker  26:09  
we're vacation. Like, yeah, it's why do you need a vacation?

Unknown Speaker  26:15  
Boy, but the kind of idea of what that you know, being a coach counselor lens, is kind of like, it's more of the relationship that you have with yourself. The lack? If you lack it, are you beating yourself up? Right? Or worse? Are you comparing yourself to other people? Right? Or maybe you'd have it and you're feeling better than inflated? So he's kind of like, but and if I'm wrong, you know, maybe like a rough summary. But I'm not trying to summarize minimize what you're saying. But it's kind of like, okay, just appreciate the moment. That's, you know, some of what you're saying.

Unknown Speaker  27:01  
Yeah, it is, it's the ability to, like, be present with wherever you're at. Because I think that for me, like the acceptance piece, like I have so much. Yeah, I know, you and I did the Enneagram breakdown, but I have so much like Enneagram, three, like, driven in me that the achiever and so you know, a lot of times, it's the lens of like, where I am right now is not good enough. And I need to be better, achieve more, do more, be more like I need to keep going and keep hustling and striving because where I'm at, like, I can't accept where I'm at right now. And it's not that you have to be like, on one of my podcasts, one of my favorite quotes, because that's acceptance is so hard for me from a guy named Chris Belton. He's a financial advisor and a wealth coach. And he said, acceptance isn't that you have to love it. But you got to stop hating it. And so much of it, for me is like, almost like hating or despising where I'm at. Because I would rather be this like big successful business mogul and, like, be really well known. And a lot of us just like, again, that ego drive to have that inflated sense of self. So that I don't have to look at all crap I don't like about myself. So I think the key is not letting money change you. I think like, being able to know who you are. And I talked about this a lot, too, is like we have this false definition of financial freedom. We've got it really mixed up with financial independence. Because financial freedom to me, at least you have to define this for yourself is knowing I'm okay, no matter what. Like, I could lose it all tomorrow. And I'll be okay. I know. And I again, I'm always were, this is an evolving process. But that's, I think we always just I want to have enough to, you know, make sure that I'm okay. Therefore, we're kind of letting money define whether we're okay or not. So if I don't have it, I'm not okay. But what if, like, you're just okay. And you trust that you're gonna figure it out. And I can attest to this because I like I went in just so much debt. And I figured it out. I'm okay, I figured it out. I'm not dead like I, I'm here. I'm okay. So I'm living, breathing. I have value. I'm here. And I trust I'll be okay. And I think that's yeah, we've just gotten into like, oh if you have a have money, passive income to pay all your bills, then you're financially free. And that is a wheel that people will spend their whole life just trying to get there and never actually feel at peace with who they are, where they're at how much they do have, what they do have who they are. We're hoping a lot of times that money will make us okay. And if you got to be okay with us first.

Unknown Speaker  30:26  
Yeah, that's, that's so well said during the you mentioned, I'm okay, no matter what. Despite how many zeros for a zero, I have in my big

Unknown Speaker  30:45  
negative, yeah.

Unknown Speaker  30:47  
Yeah, totally. You know, this is I haven't even thought about this in regards to money. You know, even though I mentioned this to people a lot, you know, the relationship that people have with themselves. I always share, can I hold myself in warm regard? Despite my screw ups, right, essentially, exactly what you said, I'm okay, no matter what, but I feel I really, really agree with you on that, Jordan. If we can intuit that, and work on that, and practice that breathe into it, whatever it is, we're gonna be better parents. Right? We're going to be more present. We're going to accept just chillin on the driveway, making chalk. Right? You know, being saying is like, Oh, my God, I gotta do something on the grass. Let yesterday, and I like had to pull weeds. I'm like Jesus. Sure. Yeah. But I love that idea. That's definitely cool.

Unknown Speaker  31:51  
Yeah, I know, I think we, you know, we're, we just think about what we think being a good parent is too, but like, our kids don't, they don't even like know what money is they don't know how much they do or don't have, or until they get older, but they feel you and your energy and how you're being more than they care what your bank account looks like. And I think that's why being a parent is also so awesome, you know, marriage, helps set the stage. But parenting also brings out a lot of that stuff, and is a mirror of, you know, back to us of what we're actually feeling about ourselves expecting of ourselves. Because kids are just this ultimate sense of, and such a pure sense of their ability to just be, and how much they don't, you know, judge you by how much money you make, or don't make or how fit you are, or hope that you know, they just want you to be there. When you be there and hug them when they when they cry and have fun with them when they're running around. And like they don't care. And I think that's what our ultimate True Self says and believes as well. So our kids are like, a reflection of this, like true self that lives within all of us. And we're just always in battle with this, you know, false self, that tells us who we need to be and how we need to be in the world. And that's our job here is to unravel that. So that we can be with our kids and be with our families and be good parents. Doesn't mean making a lot of money.

Unknown Speaker  33:48  
I love what you said, like, you know, kids don't care about how much money we have. They care about are we there? So cool.

Unknown Speaker  33:58  
Yeah, helping them feel safe. And we're stuck chasing things because we don't feel safe. Yeah, they don't feel safe. Yeah, yeah, good point.

Unknown Speaker  34:08  
You know, I was reflecting on this too. You know, what can we really give? You know, like, hey, we can get money, you know? Sure. You know, my daughter's four and a half year or five bucks, she wouldn't care. You know, maybe it's a teenager things change, but fundamentally, but signs that what we give real value? What can we give that will benefit them the most? And that is our attention. That is our presence that is conveying, hey, I'm with you. And nothing else in the world really matters right now stuff for them to really remember. I really kind of been thinking about that exactly what you've been saying. So I you know, it's so cool. You're doing this work and you're helping people do that as well. Yeah, clicks I know, but and that I listen to Tony Robbins, right? You know, entrepreneur, you can't help it run into him. But I love what he said, though he talked about the difference between being successful and fulfilled. You know, he was sharing his story about he was with his billionaire on his tennis court. And his kid is the billionaire's kid was there. And the kid like opened up a tennis balls, a new pair of tennis balls. And Tony Robbins was like, this dude was like yelling at his kid propria tennis balls, he could buy a tennis ball factory. And then he talked about, he may be successful, but he's not fulfilled. And I think that's kind of what you were talking about. Kind of like this, being able to esteem yourself like I'm okay, no matter what, you know, can we build be fulfilled? You know, maybe that's more than a question. You know, that's cool. But can you be fulfilled? Did you heard that story?

Unknown Speaker  36:03  
I haven't. But yeah, I love that. I think I've done a lot of exploring around that too. And I, this concept too, because I think successful, like, it's a genuine desire for us as humans, you know, we want to feel like we're growing and evolving and becoming our best selves. I think that's a genuine desire. Where I think we go wrong is that we, to me, like Success is a journey, but we miss interpret that by just as financial freedom and independence are different. So our success and achievements. So we attach the have those two things merged? That success is a sum of our achievements. Whereas I, to me, if I'm, if I look at my true definition of success, success from that True Self standpoint, it's going to include fulfillment. But it's also you know, am I being true and being my truest and authentic, most authentic self, am I living on purpose, and with purpose, am I, you know, being who I know, I really want to be, whereas achievements are the thing that we often are chasing, you know, hitting a certain revenue mark as a business owner, or, you know, certain words or titles or prestige. And so, but we tie those things so closely together, that I think we can just get really caught up and achievements, which achievements are that they're a moment in time, they're going to pass? And then you go, what's next? How do I, you know, how do I keep? How do I keep going, because achievement is what gives us that temporary high, kind of, like, you know, like eating that, like, food that tastes really good, but bad for you. Like, it gives us that like, immediate high, but then like, how do I get more, or like drinking or whatever, watching TV, whatever your like, kind of drug of choices, it's that temporary high, which is like, great. But if you like define your whole life, by just your achievements, then you're not ever going to be fulfilled. So again, think untangling those things so that you can have success that allows for a journey and allows for highs and lows and like the good parts, good parts, not so good parts of life. But knowing that that's what's shaping you, allowing you to become who you want to be. Versus just seeking achievements.

Unknown Speaker  38:45  
Yeah, so cool. Yeah, you know, that's great. Well, and, and, you know, being kind of out of time, oh, gosh, I wanted to hear your thoughts about you know, you kind of mentioned that the, like a false self, there's kind of more like our authentic self, you know, they can feel joy, no matter what, that's one way that I define it, is the false self cultural beliefs, or like as a kind of ego and you have some thoughts on that,

Unknown Speaker  39:19  
to me, and there's so many different like, books and things on there, like true self first of all stuff, but a kind of how I chalk it up to is it's this like, set Yeah. So beliefs are a paradigm but of like, how you are told that you earn success, acceptance, love, like this, this learned thing, it's a learned thing, whereas like our true self, and we were, as I was here, you know, our young children, it does, this starts to evolve and like our false self can, like, start to kick in, in those like before primitive, early teen years and into our 20s, like before Paul self starts to kind of like understand what it takes and creates those stories. So I think it's, yeah, our true self is like, it's always there, you can't get rid of it. But the false self can kind of like layer on top of that. And it's the that subconscious pattern. Yeah, not all of its harmful, we need the false self. We need, we're never just going to need it. It keeps us in check. And, you know, can be very helpful, but sometimes, it's not helpful. And we have to really look at what's not serving us anymore.

Unknown Speaker  40:40  
Yeah. You know, and another way that we been in kind of the lingo I've been trained in, can you have a different part of us not gonna go away? But it depends on the relationship you have with that, that part of you. You have wisdom, but make sure your time is that driving you that kind of drive in your life all the time. But yeah, during this has been so cool. Because of the time I know, we're coming up on an hour here. Can you talk to my wife, and tell us? How can people find you, you know, if they're like, hey, this sounds great. Jordan, you know, how can I work with you on money? Work? Changing my mindset?

Unknown Speaker  41:28  
Yeah, I am, I play a lot on Instagram. So at Jordan talk money, that's where you know, the best place to find me. And in my link in my bio, has a bunch of different, you know, have like a 21 day journaling exercise that will really help you uncover a lot of these stories, that's free that you can just download the site and then all the way to you know, you wanted to work one on one, I have Discovery sessions, and then just some like one off sessions to, if you're curious about digging into this conversation, and yeah, I'll definitely call your wife up and make sure to let her know.

Unknown Speaker  42:10  
Yeah, toys. Because if we if we saw the issue, but her agreed to my point of view, right, we'll be all good.

Unknown Speaker  42:20  
Yeah. I wish

Unknown Speaker  42:26  
you know, and a quick quick like to, you know, you had a Julian exercise, Instagram. And I'm still racking my brain on it. It was if money was a friend, how would you describe your relationship? That's a really cool question. So maybe listeners can think about that. And kind of reflect on it, meditate on it. So very cool.

Unknown Speaker  42:48  
Yes, yeah, there's some good just like, kind of thought provoking and digs into the different parts of your brain, like it's very strategic and how its laid out. So it's, you know, in a sequence to now that you can download, I do have some of the ones just like, on my Instagram page, just like single post, but now Yeah, I have it all in like a journal. Journaling, like exercise that you can go through that helps you really start to rewire some of this stuff and figure out what your are you even really want money for? At the end of the day? Because a lot of us are on that, you know, subconscious program, or what we've adopted so,

Unknown Speaker  43:31  
so cool. Yeah, that's great. It sounds like journaling was really important for your charity as well.

Unknown Speaker  43:38  
Oh, yeah. I do it every day, like huge journaler. So that's a gift I like to share with people very helpful, especially as I'm actually a five on the Enneagram. So I have a very heavy person. I just have a love three influence, but I need it to like get my brain. Like, get out of my head.

Unknown Speaker  44:02  
Gotcha. Great. Well, George, this has been so great. Thank you so much for your time. I've got a lot. And we'll we'll stay in touch. Yeah. Thanks

Unknown Speaker  44:11  
so much, Jason. I appreciate it. Thanks for having me on.

Unknown Speaker  44:15  
All right, take care.

Jason Polk  44:25  
Hey, if you liked this, I would love for you to give up the review and share this with your friends and family members who could benefit from this information. Thank you so much for listening.

Transcribed by