Couples researchers talk about positive sentiment override, or PSO in relationships and how that helps couples avoid many problems. This episode provides a quick exercise to build PSO.
I would urge you not to feel guilty about leaving your kids with a sitter, a trusted sitter, of course, and taking some time for the two of you. Because I want to reiterate this, that if we have a stronger relationship, we'll be better parents. Welcome to The Healthy Relationship secrets, prepares podcasts, saving your relationship from parenthood. So the question is, how can we be great parents and have an amazing relationship at the same time? That's the question. And this podcast will provide the answers. What's up everyone, Jason here. And I don't know if you all heard that. But I'm using Riverside FM, and they had this little media thing where you couldn't have add sound effects. So I don't know if that was cool or not. Anyway, if you listen to podcasts, they're trying to sell you on stuff, checking out Riverside, FM. I'm not an affiliate, so I'm not getting any money for this plug. But anyway, today, I want to give you all some quick exercises that are going to help you relationship. And as you know, a purpose of this podcast is to save your marriage from parenthood, that is continue to have a great relationship, despite putting a lot of time and energy into raising your beautiful children. And this podcast also has the belief that if we have a stronger relationship, we'll be better parents. So let me give you one quick relationship secret, and that is to cultivate positive sentiment override, also known as P S O. And that term was coined by this dude, I think in Oregon by the name of Robert Weiss. And I'm going to read an excerpt from a book by John Gottman. This book is called the Seven Principles for Making marriage work. But on PSO for couples, that means that, quote, their positive thoughts about each other and their marriage are so pervasive that they tend to supersede their negative feelings. It takes a much more significant conflict for them to lose their equilibrium as a couple than it would otherwise their positivity causes them to feel optimistic about each other and their marriage, to have positive expectations about their lives together. And to give each other the benefit of the doubt, wow, that's a lot of stuff. There's a lot of good byproducts, so to speak, of cultivating P S O. So let me give you a quick exercise to build PSO. And you may want to pause this podcast after each question just to think about it. You know, if you want to do the a plus version, maybe pause and if you're able to write it down, write this down, because the last part of the exercise is to share this with your partner, and maybe invite them to do it as well. So number one of the exercise, the first question is, okay, so the first question is,
what qualities of your partner? Are you especially fond of? So think about that? What qualities of your partner are you especially fond of? And next? And this may have been a while when you two were first dating? But what drew you to your partner in the first place? Number three, what do you appreciate about your partner? And this one is big. We have to remember what we are getting out of the relationship because hopefully, the relationship for you is a net gain. For those left brain people out there, hopefully you're on the plus side. And number four, do you have a shared experience of an amazing vacation together? And the sub question is what was so great about it. The next one is How did it feel between the two of you say no, my wife and I recently got back from Clearwater, Florida, on a vacation without the kids. We had the kids go to their grandparents for a week. We were gone. I mean it was high. was Florida in the summer, but we were by the beach. But it was great. It was a great time, just for basically the two of us to spend time together, going out to dinner and going to the beach together, exploring the Florida area down by Tampa Bay, St. Pete. And it was a lot of fun. And gosh, it's so important to do this. So it's so important to have vacation. Maybe that last question will be motivation for you to plan something together with our kids. And hey, don't worry, as long as you have good people to watch, I would urge you not to feel guilty about leaving your kids with a sitter, a trusted sitter, of course, and taking some time for the two of you. Because I want to reiterate this, the belief that if we have a stronger relationship, we'll be better parents. And so the next part of this exercise is to reflect on those questions, and then share the answers with your partner. And this will help create P S Oh. All right. Let me know how it went and talk to you soon.
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